Up the River
by Medicinal Biscuit
Summary: In which Neji and Lee have a majorly unwanted and very unintentional bonding moment. AU NejiLee friendship, NONYAOI!


**Disclaimer: I**** don't own Naruto**

**Warnings: AU, Drugs, Language, X-TREME actions sequences of violence, utter ridiculousness, yadda yadda, Non-Yaoi.**

**Up The River**

**x x x**

"Look at that smile...it's mocking us-SHAMELESSLY!"

His black eyes narrowed, and if looks could kill, then the Tony the Tiger bobble-head on the worn-down desk would have been reduced to ash by now. Feeling faintly nauseated by this time, Rock Lee sighed and ran his had across the iron bars-wincing at the sound his bones made as they collided with the unforgiving metal.

He groaned in anguish and gently hit his head against the cinderblock wall; relishing its cool texture. How was it that after three excruciating years of walking on eggshells to make things right, he had managed to destroy all his hard work in one cruel twist of fate? All of the pain, anxiety, and humiliation he had suffered at the hands of the person whose forgiveness he was so desperately trying to earn meant nothing now. Everything had come crashing down around his sunburned ears-and all because he had needed to pee. Oh, cruel world!

Pulling his singed and soiled green hoodie tighter around his thin frame, Lee allowed his sorrow and self-pity to manifest itself as blind rage directed towards a less-than-innocent bystander; he shot a death glare at the blonde male lying stretched out carelessly across the filthy floor.

"Batshit crazy, un," The blonde muttered, feeling Lee's intense stare.

"You shouldn't be talking to me about crazy. _I'm _not the one who hides my drugs in the floor, you dumbass heroin addict!" Lee bit back scathingly.

"Well, at least _I_ don't accuse inanimate objects of mocking my pathetic little problems. Besides, it takes someone truly 'special' to hurt people with French desserts!"

"That was just one time!" Lee said hotly, "And frankly, I'm amazed that you even know what 'inanimate' _means. _"

Choosing to ignore him, the heroin addict stood, throwing his knee-length trench-coat to the ground. He pulled down his white wife-beater in a vain attempt to cover the dark red tattoo etched into the pale skin of his lower back. Flicking his golden fringe out of his cobalt eyes, and scratching the rash on his emaciated arm he added,

"And besides, I prefer to think of myself as more of a heroin _enthusiast _rather than an addict." He looked over at the third and final occupant of the room, who was sitting on the wooden bench in the corner, staring at his ruined shoes. The boy's expression was unreadable, as his long, dark hair feel in curtains around his pallid face. The blonde winked at him and added, "It sounds better, anyways, don't it, gorgeous?"

Lee bristled. "Don't you _dare _talk to Neji-kun like that! I'll have you arrested for sexual harassment!"

"Arrested?" The blonde gasped, feigning shock, "Oh how _dreadful! _ I couldn't possibly be incarcerated, I have three cats to feed an- WE'RE ALREADY IN JAIL, YOU DUMBSHIT!" He yelled, ending his charade.

"Well all the more reason for you to watch yourself, druggie!" Lee screamed back.

The heroin addict was about to retort, when someone banged sharply on the wall of their cell. "SHUT IT IN THERE!"

The two stared at each other tersely, and eventually, the cell lapsed back into a forced calm.

After a time, the brunette spoke.

"Lee?"

The poor boy winced. "Yes, Neji-kun?"

"You do know this whole thing is your fault, right?"

"Yes, yes I do, " Lee responded in absolute misery.

And from the ground, Deidara snorted.

**x x x**

Another hour found the three jailed boys still in the cell. Deidara was getting jittery, and was scratching his arm furiously at the injection site. Lee was squirming uncomfortably under Neji's furious white stare; fearing for his life, as the brunette was still in the corner looking like the grim reaper in a pink polo shirt.

Finally, when Lee was ready to die of his misery and humiliation, the sound of approaching foot steps reached their ears. The police officer, Iruka, unlocked their cell door with his police-man-poker-face firmly in place.

He led the boys past many more cells to the interrogation room. Showing them to three stools, he shone a blinding light in their faces, and just like in the movies, gravely intoned,

"You boys have a LOT of explaining to do."

Neji and Deidara both turned to the unlucky soul between them, and demanded concordantly,

"Lee?"

Whimpering pathetically and jumping at the sound of his name, Lee launched into the narrative that was probably to be the single most far-fetched story Iruka would ever hear during his stint as a police officer.

**FLASHBACK MODE**

Neji slammed his locker door closed, making Lee's eager face visible once more. "For the last time, Lee, you don't need to buy me flowers, you don't need to send me cards in the mail every month, you don't have to apologize incessantly, and you _DEFINITELY _do not need to take me out to dinner. It happened beginning of freshman year-we're juniors, now. It's over, so let's just get on with our lives."

Lee gasped and said incredulously, "But Neji-kun, I ruined your entire year! First the anemia, then the stitches, and then rare blood infection-not to mention months of physical therapy and recuperation! You were in the hospital for almost three weeks, and out of commission for six months!"

"Lee," Neji sighed, feeling a migraine coming on, "It's not your fault. How were you supposed to stop yourself from falling when you had a giant meat-cleaver in one hand and a flaming pot of creme brulee in the other? Given, you _did _almost slice off my right leg, and you're the reason they don't have French Dessert Week in the cafeteria anymore, but it was a freak accident. Forget about it."

"Neji-kun. _Please _let me take you out to dinner and then I swear I'll never bother you again!"

Neji rubbed the bridge of his nose, contemplating Lee's offer. He had to ask himself, would it really hurt him to have one dinner with Lee? He was about to decline, but then made the mistake of looking into Lee's hopeful face. Needless to say, he caved.

"Fine. As long as we don't have creme brulee."

Lee positively beamed at him.

**x x x**

Neji had to hand it to him; Lee was prompt. Sure enough, at 7:00 on the dot Lee was lurking in the oil-streaked streets of the run-down alley. The brunette surveyed the restaurant and sighed. Leave it to Lee to pick literally the farthest thing possible from a fancy French restaurant: A hole-in-the-wall Indian Buffet.

Stepping into the tacky, over-decorated little room, Neji found his eyes watering from the spices- even before he had fully entered the eatery. As he crossed the threshold, Neji noticed the story above the restaurant seemed to be divided into little rat-hole apartments that were probably dirt cheap. It registered, to his slight dismay, that the ceiling was of the questionable, moldy variety, as were the walls and floors.

As it turned out, the food wasn't half bad, for the most part, albeit a tad greasy. Lee feasted with glutinous glee on anything spicy-particualrly the curry, while Neji drowned almost everything he consumed (which wasn't much) with yogurt to decrease the potency of the spices. Eventually, all the water Lee had been drinking to offset the spices got to him, and he excused himself to answer the call of nature.

Ten minutes found Lee, bladder still full, scratching his bowl haircut in wonderment at how he could have possibly gotten so lost in a place so small. Finally, he found a promising door which opened not to a bathroom, but to the kitchen. Lee warily peeked in, and upon finding it abandoned, went inside.

He peered with interest around the room-noting the moldy ceiling, chipping plaster, and recipes written in different languages. The delicious aromas of Indian cooking tickled his nose gently. Curiosity getting the better of him, he stepped further into the room, and in his entrancement, accidentally knocked a pot-holder onto a stove-burner with his elbow. The embroidered cloth promptly caught fire.

Lee reacted immediately at the acrid smell of smoke, but relaxed when he realized it was a manageable situation. He smiled in relief as he nonchalantly grabbed a conveniently located bottle, and quickly doused the flames with the liquid it contained.

Too bad for him that liquid was cooking sherry.

A blazing inferno shot up, setting Lee's hair and clothes aflame. Dancing around in panic, Lee patted his eyebrows to stop any stray sparks from igniting. Luckily for him, the outdated sprinkler systems creaked into life, and the flames began to recede slowly. Unluckily for him, it was at that time that Neji abruptly entered the scene.

"What did you DO?" Neji, wailed in dismay.

Lee whipped around, jacket and hair still alight, and dismissed the damage with a flick of his hand.

"What...this?" He asked, voice shaking slightly, "Relax, it's nothing, the sprinklers will take care of it. It's not like the sky's falling."

And then the ceiling collapsed.

Smoldering pieces of ancient wood rained down upon the two boys like the fires of Armageddon- knocking them roughly to the floor. Dazed and confused, Neji and Lee were roused out of their stupor moments later by a shrill cry, followed by the crashing steps of someone descending the stairs. Whoever it was entered the room and began yelling on contact.

"MY STASH! YOU ABSOLUTE DICKWADS, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY STASH! ALL MY HARD WORK, MY MONEY-ALL UP IN SMOKE!"

Lee looked up to see an irate blonde in tight jeans and combat boots with a needle in his arm screeching at them about something that made NO sense until he looked down. To his ultimate horror, he found himself surrounded by-and covered in-heroin that was in various states of production. Ears being assaulted by the wails of multiple sirens, he looked back up to see blue and red lights reflected in the windows, and the furious faces of the entire staff of the restaurant, as well as several police officers and firefighters staring back at him in solemn rage. Lee grimaced and slowly turned to face the seething brunette next to him. He winced seeing Neji's frigid eyes and burning hair, and knew that by this time, there was absolutely no point in trying.

But he did anyway because he was Lee.

Laughing nervously, Lee licked his thumb and forefinger and hesitantly pinched out an errant flame that was devouring the end of one of Neji's locks; killing it with a hiss.

"I'm sorry?" He said, all hope abandoned

"I hate you," Neji said flatly.

"I kind of figured that."

And then the solemn Lee, furious Neji, and still-screeching Deidara had been sent up the river, and we are back to the beginning.

**x x x**

Iruka stared at them-completely floored-for several moments after Lee's last words had faded away.

Silence. Then,

"What kind of Idiot hides his stash in the floor?"

"That's what I said!" Lee muttered. Deidara shot them both a nasty look.

Remembering himself, Iruka went back into super-serious cop mode, barking gruffly,

"Deidara!" The blonde nearly jumped out of his skin, "Seeing was you've admitted to and been accused of the possession and usage of illicit substances, we'll need to keep you here for further questioning. You other two boys may go back to the cell, knowing that the restaurant staff will probably be placing a number of charges."

**x x x **

A few minutes later, and they were once again in the dingy cell; Neji staring at the profane graffiti decorating the wall, and Lee once again peering deep into the plastic features of Tony the Tiger.

Neji's deep voice unexpectedly shattered the quiet.

"Lee?"

The bug-eyed boy turned around in surprise.

Neji blinked and looked like he was about to yell, but instead, he smoothed his ruined hair out of his face, and fell back into silence.

With a pained expression, Lee moved to sit on the bench beside the Hyuuga. Tenderly, he took a strand of Neji's dark brown hair between his fingers.

"Your beautiful hair...ruined, all because of me." Lee blinked rapidly and looked up-clearly on the verge of tears. His next words came out strained, "Look, Neji-ku-...Neji. I know that you always have and always will hate me, and for a good reason. I've hurt you so many times in so many different ways, and I just want you to know...I'm sorry."Lee turned around.

"Lee," Neji warily began, "Why do you keep apologizing even after I've said it's alright. It wasn't you fault! Seriously, _none_ of this was, so why keep trying to make it up to me?"

Rock Lee suddenly punched the wall in frustration, and rounded on Neji, yelling, "It's BECAUSE you keep saying it's okay!" Taking in Neji's startled expression, he sighed, continuing, "Look, Neji, I never give up on something once I've started it- that's just who I am. I vowed to myself that I would earn your forgiveness at any cost. But what you don't seem to understand is that there's a huge difference between being pardoned repeatedly, and being truly forgiven- closure."

Neji broke away from Lee's soulful gaze, averting his eyes guiltily to the bench. Lee sighed and turned around once again.

A very unexpected sound broke through the uncomfortable quiet a few minutes later when Neji began to chuckle quietly. Lee's depression sank to its darkest depths, dreading what was to come as the other softly began to speak,

"And all this time, I thought I was being the bigger person here."

Neji's words were forced, awkward; as though he was unused to revealing his feelings. He continued, looking sadly up at Lee,

" I've been so cruel to you. You were only trying to show that you..care...," he faltered, the unfamiliar word sticking in his throat, "...about me. How sick is it that I never once stopped to think about how this whole thing affected you? You must feel terrible. I guess in the end, I probably hurt you emotionally as much as you hurt me physically."

Neji shifted uncomfortably, and after opening his mouth about three times, always closing it again without being able to find the words. Finally, he met Lee's eyes, and mumbled, "I forgive you..will..you forgive...me?"

Neji realized what he had said right after he had said it, and barely had time to brace himself as a green and black blur assaulted him. He hesitantly returned the tight hug, eventually losing himself completely, even laughing with Lee. They broke away, and for a moment, sitting close to each other all chummy like, it was possible to imagine that the past three years had never happened at all. The burden had been lifted- the pain released, and for the time being, everything was perfect. Lee relaxed into the bench, his brilliant smile illuminated the dank prison like a neon sign thorough the haze of the highway at rush hour.

And Tony the Tiger smiled right back.

**XxXxX**

**FIN**

**Notes: zomg! A moral? In one of my stories? It's crazy, I know. I really hope the end wasn't too sappy... Anyways, I simply could not refuse the urge to throw Deidara in there, I'm sorry, I just HAD to. He's just too much fun to write as a total bad-boy-I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you-or-you-rules type of guy. Plus the heroin addiction just makes it all so much more fun.**

**Hope you enjoyed! Till next time!**

**-Ja!**

** Biscuit**


End file.
